Marriage is a blessed contract and a social duty on the part of the society to preserve humankind as well as a means of providing a medium of love and mercy between each man and woman. The Quran describes relation in the most loving and eloquent terms “And Among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquility with them ,and He has put love and mercy between your hearts (30:21)”
The righteous Muslim woman is the backbone of the family and the greatest blessing that Allah Subhaanahu wa’ ta’aala can give a man.
The rights of a Muslim woman
Islam gives women rights and recognition which are envied by Western women when they hear about women’s rights in Islam. This has been freely admitted by women’s liberation activists in Arab countries, as we have seen. Many of them have retracted their claims that Muslim women need to be liberated.
One such activist is Dr. Nawaa El-Saadawi, who was interviewed for the Kuwaiti newspaper af-Watan (mid-August 1989) was asked, “Do you think that the European women are an example to be copied?” She replied, “No, not at all. European women have advanced in some fields, but are backward in others. The marriage laws in Europe oppress women, and this is what led to the development of women’s liberation movements in those countries and in America, where this movement is very strong and is even at times quite vicious.”
Then she remarked: “Our Islamic religion has given women more rights than any other religion has, and has guaranteed her honor and pride, but what has happened is that men have sometimes used certain aspects of this religion to create a patriarchal class system in which males dominate females.”
Clearly this patriarchal oppression mentioned by Dr. El Saadawi, which has led to the oppression of women, has been caused by ignorance of the true teachings of Islam.
Equality before Allah
Islam instructs women to undertake the duties of faith and good morality exactly like men. Allah says in Surah Ahzab (33:35) “For Muslim men and women, for believing men and women, for devout men and women, for true men and women, for men and women who are patient and constant, for men and women who humble themselves, for men and women who give charity , for men and women who fast (and deny themselves) for men and women who guard their chastity and for men and women who engage much in Allah’s praise, for all these has Allah prepared forgiveness and a great reward.”
A woman has equal rights to live, inherit wealth and choose a life as much as a man does. A marriage may occur only when there is an ijab (proposal by the groom) and qabul (acceptance by the bride). Islam prohibits the mistreatment of women, Surah Nisaa (4:19) reads “O you who believe! You are forbidden to inherit women against their will. Nor should you treat them with harshness in order to take away part of the dower you have given them, but live with them equitably and honorably.
The notion of women’s rights in Islam is evident in giving her the right to choose a husband. The following hadith narrated by al Khansa bint Khidam quoted by Imam Bukhari gives it clear justification:
“My father married me to his nephew, and I did not like this match, so I complained to the Messenger of Allah (Sal) .He said to me, “Accept what your father has arranged” I said “I do not wish to accept what my father has arranged.” He said “then this marriage is invalid, go and marry whoever you wish.” I said “I have accepted what my father has arranged, but I wanted women to know that fathers have no right in their daughter’s matters (i.e. no right to force a marriage on them)”.
Her role in the family and society
The reasoning behind given a girl this freedom is because Islam wants a marriage to be successful. Islam has protected woman’s pride and humanity. The retrospect is that after the marriage , she may by Allah’s mercy establish a Muslim family and raise a new generation of intelligent and caring children in an atmosphere of love and harmony, which will not be impeded by conflicting attitudes or religious differences or any issues of incompatibility.
A woman came to ask the Prophet (Sal) about some matter, and when he had dealt with it, he asked her, “Do you have a husband?” She said, “Yes.” He asked her, “How are you with him?” She said, “I never fall short in my duties, except for that which is beyond me. He said, “Pay attention to how you treat him, for he is your Paradise and your Hell”.
The true Muslim woman devotes herself to taking care of her husband and household. She is always obedient to him provided that no sin is involved. She is eager to make him happy by everything she says or does. If he is poor, she does not complain about his inability to spend much. She does not complain about her housework because she remembers that many of the virtuous women in Islamic history set an example of patience, goodness and a positive attitude in serving their husbands and taking care of their homes despite the poverty and hardships they faced.
One of the foremost of these exemplary wives is Fatimah al-Zahra’, the daughter of Muhammad (Sal) and the wife of ‘All bin Abi Talib (RAA). She used to complain of the pain in her hands caused by grinding grain with the hand-mill. Her husband ‘Ali bin Abi Talib said to her one day, Your father has brought some female slaves, so go and ask him for one of them to come and serve you.” She went to her father, but she felt too shy to ask him for what she wanted. ‘Ali went and asked him to provide a servant for his beloved daughter, but the Prophet (Sal) could not respond to those who most dear to him whilst ignoring the needs of the poor among the Muslims, so he came to his daughter and her husband and said: “Shall I not teach you something that is better than that for which you asked me? When you go to bed at night, say ‘Subhaan Allah’ thirty-three times, ‘Al-hamdu lillaah’ thirty-three times, and ‘Allahu Akbar’ thirty-four times. This is better for you than a servant.” Then, he bid them farewell and left, after giving them this divine help which would make them forget their tiredness and help them to overcome their exhaustion. ‘Ali (Ral) began to repeat the words that the Prophet (Sal) had taught him. He said, “I never stopped doing that after he had taught me these words.” One of his companions asked him, ‘Not even on the night of Siffin?” He said, “Not even on the night of Siffin.”
The true Muslim woman devotes herself to taking care of her house and husband. She knows her husband’s rights over her, and how great they are, as was confirmed by the Prophet’s words:
“No human being is permitted to prostrate to another, but if this were permitted I would have ordered wives to prostrate to their husbands, because of the greatness of the rights they have over them.”
And: “If I were to order anyone to prostrate to anyone else, I would have ordered women to prostrate to their husbands.”
Aisha (May Allah be pleased with her) asked the Messenger of Allah (SaI): “Who has the greatest rights over a woman?” He said, “Her husband.” She asked, ‘And who has the greatest rights over a man?” He said, “His mother.
One of the most important ways in which the Muslim woman obeys her husband is by respecting his wishes with regard to the permissible pleasures of daily life, such as social visits, food, dress, speech, etc. The more she responds to his wishes in such matters, the happier and more enjoyable the couple’s life becomes, and the closer it is to the spirit and teachings of Islam.
The Muslim woman is constantly reminded that her obedience to her husband is one of the things that may lead her to Paradise, as the Prophet (Sal) said: “If a woman prays her five daily prayers, fasts her month (of Ramadan), obeys her husband and guards her chastity, then say to her ‘Enter Paradise by whichever of its gates you wish.”
Disobedience to husbands- a major sin
The Messenger of Allah (Sal) said: ‘There are three people whose prayers will not be accepted, neither their good works: a disobedient slave until he returns to his masters and puts his hand in theirs; a woman whose husband is angry with her, until he is pleased with her again; and the drunkard, until he becomes sober”
When these hadith refer to the husband being angry with his wife, they refer to cases in which the husband is right and the wife is wrong. When the opposite is the case, and the husband is wrong, then his anger has no negative implications for her: in fact, Allah (Subhaanahu wa ‘ta’aala) will reward the wife for her patience. But the wife is still required to obey her husband, so long as no sin is involved, because there should be no obedience to a created being if it entails disobedience to the Creator. Concerning this, the Prophet (Sal) is reported to have said “It is not permitted for a woman who believes in Allah (Subhaanahu wa ‘ta’aala) to allow anyone into her husband’s house whom he dislikes; or to go out when he does not want her to; or to obey anyone else against him; or to forsake his bed; or to hit him. If he is wrong, then let her come to him until he is pleased with her, and if he accepts her then all is well, Allah (Subhaanahu wa ‘ta’aala) will accept her deeds and make her position stronger, and there will be no sin on her, If he does not accept her, then at least she will have done her best and excused herself in the sight of Allah (Subhaanahu wa ‘ta’aala).”
A woman should not fast if her husband is present, except with his permission she should not allow anyone to enter his house when he is present without his permission whatever she spends of his wealth without him having told her to do so, half of the reward for it will be given to him.”
The point here is the permission of the husband. If a wife gives some of his money in voluntary charity without his permission, then she will not receive any reward: on the contrary it will be recorded as a sin on her part. If she wants to spend in his absence, and she knows that if he knew about it he would give his permission and then she is allowed to do so, otherwise it is not permitted.
Mutual understanding and harmony between husband and wife cannot be achieved unless there is understanding between them on such matters, so that neither of them will fall into such errors and troubles as may damage the marriage which Islam has built on a basis of love and mercy, and sought to maintain its purity, care and harmony.
So who is a true Muslim wife?
The true Muslim is she who is obedient, kind and loving towards her husband, ever eager to please him. She does not disclose his secrets or upset his plans. She stands beside him at times of hardship, offering her support and wise advice. She shares his joys and sorrows. She endears herself to him by the way she looks and behaves, and fills his life with joy and happiness. She encourages him to obey Allah (Subhaanahu wa ta’aala) in different ways, and motivates him by joining him in various activities. She respects his mother and family. She refrains from looking at other men. She keeps away from foolish and worthless talk. She is keen to provide an atmosphere of peace, tranquility and stability for her husband and children. She is strong of character without being rude or aggressive, and is kind and gentle without being weak. She earns the respect of those who speak to her. She is tolerant and forgiving, overlooking errors and never bearing grudges.
Thus the Muslim wife deserves to be the most successful wife. She is the greatest blessing that Allah (Subhaanahu wa ta’aala) may bestow upon a man, and an incomparable source of joy in this life.
The Prophet (Sal) is reported to have said:
“This world is nothing but temporary conveniences, and the greatest joy in this world is a righteous woman.”
Abolish Dowry 